You may not be keeping up with the Hulk Hogan v. Gawker Media trial that is going on, but we are. If I were to sum it up in one word: hilarious. The whole thing has been hilarious. They’re using kayfabe as a legal strategy! Terry Bollea is on the stand, not Hulk Hogan, and Terry has been doing his best to draw a line in the sand between him and The Hulkster.
He’s pushing that while in character, he takes creative liberties to feel comfortable (he lies).
For instance, there’s this:
This Hogan trial is a work right?
Posted by Wrestling Memes on Tuesday, March 8, 2016
Good to know. Terry Bollea’s penis is not ten inches long, but Hulk Hogan’s hog is apparently massive. We can all go about our day now, I guess.
The kayfabe strategy is actually genius. Hulk Hogan is a liar. There’s no other way to put it. With this strategy, it doesn’t matter. Everything he’s ever said as Hulk Hogan can now be filed under one folder: kayfabe. Which is lucky for him, because Hulk Hogan has told a lot of lies throughout the years.
LordHyterix was hit with a ton of responses. Let’s take a look at some of them, shall we?
NOTE: If you’d rather read on your own, click the title of the Reddit post, and you’ll be directed over there.
From Lord Hyterix:
Mine is that the UFC wanted to hire him in his 40s during his “prime” but he couldn’t join due his contract issues.
That he worked 400 days in a year because Japan and time zones.
Hogan and Andre were the reason Shea Stadium sold out in 1980, not fucking Sammartino and Zbyszko.
Fucking really, brother?
That he was going to be the bassist of metallica.
My second favorite is that he never told Nick Patrick to do a regular count at starcade 97.
My third favorite which he told on TIJ is that him and savage made up a few months before savage died at a Dr office of all places. But we could go on forever with how much Hogan lies.
He once claimed in an interview that he put people over.
That Elvis was a fan of his despite being dead for 2 years before he even started wrestling in Memphis.
That he’s going to be the lead villain in The Expendables 4, that he beat up a Hells Angel in a hotel hallway.
That he drank John Belushi under the table at the Wrestlemania 2 after party. (Belushi had been dead for 4 years by Wrestlemania 2).
That i would be successful if i trained, prayed, and took my vitamins……brother!
There’s one glaring omission from this thread:
Telling, and letting Undertaker believe for like two years that he had caused permanent damage to Hogan’s neck with a botched tombstone onto a chair. Until UT finally saw the tape, seeing that Hogan’s head was about a foot high off the chair on impact, and thus he was full of shit.
No-one’s mentioned that he was going to be the face of the George Foreman grill, but that he was outside and didn’t hear the phone ring, so the company decided to make an offer to Foreman, negotiate an agreement and sign an endorsement contract rather than to call Hogan back a little later that afternoon?
A reader on Facebook has informed us that George Foreman corroborated this story. We’re going to look into that, and post a further update with confirmation. Thanks Seth.
***END OF UPDATE***
We found a few links that corroborate the fact that Hulk Hogan was offered the grill first. That was never a question, though. WarConsigliere rightfully took issue with The Hulkster’s timeline. Also, while doing research, we saw the words, “depending on the story.” That’s never good. The version of the story where he missed the phone call came from his own mouth on “Hogan Knows Best,” a VH1 reality show.
Everyone knows that reality shows are exactly that: reality. Nothing else. It’s simply not possible for a lie to be told on reality television. That doesn’t even make sense.
A different version of the story comes from Sam Worthington, star of “Avatar.” Apparently, they met at a sci-fi convention, and Hogan told him that he had a choice between endorsing the grill, or a meatball maker. He chose the meatball maker, assumedly to go along with PASTAMANIA, BROTHER!!!
Here’s the full quote:
Worthington says, “He gave me some investment advice because his manager said to him, ‘You should get into these things, kitchen appliances, put your name on something’.
“The Hulk said, ‘Well, what have you got?’ The manager said, ‘Well, I’ve got this meatball maker… It pounds the meatballs when you (clench arm muscles and press fists together). The Hulk went, ‘That’s fantastic, I want the Hulkamania Meatball Maker!’
“The manager goes, ‘What about the other thing (investment opportunity)?’ He goes, ‘Ah, give that to your other client.’ The other client turned out to be George Foreman, it was the grill! So George Foreman’s made $300 billion and how many people own a Hulkamania Meatball Maker?”
***END OF UPDATE #2***
That when he wrestled in Japan in the 70’s there were lots of Pride MMA fighters and he never knew if they would shoot on him or not. Pride was founded in 1997.
Hogan’s version of the Montreal Screwjob is genuinely the funniest fucking thing.
“Well Bret Hart was supposed to lose to Shawn Michaels at uh, uh, Wrestlemania…, uh, whatever the hell it was. You know, 16 or 17, I don’t know; Where all the fans were chanting “Bret screwed Bret”. Bret told Vince McMahon “I’m not losing to Shawn Michaels in Canada” and Shawn Michaels went out there and pulled a fast one on Bret Hart and held him down and pinned him and Bret couldn’t do anything about it and so-called Excellence of Execution, who was supposed to be the greatest wrestler of all, little-teeny Shawn Michaels held him down and embarrassed him though. Bret Hart was being a horse’s ass saying he wouldn’t lose and Shawn Michaels pinned him anyway.”
He tore 18 muscles in his back slamming Andre the Giant!
“According to Hogan, at one point there was a proposed PPV match on the table, between him and an in-his-prime Mike Tyson. Unfortunately, this fell apart before the contracts could be signed, because Tyson was terrified that Hogan would shoot on him. “
Yeah, Tyson’s well known for being a pussy.
So. Many. Lies. My personal favorite is that he was offered the lead role in “The Wrestler,” but mostly because Darren Aronofsky, the film’s director, actually responded on Twitter:
for the record the role of the wrestler was always @mickeyrourke it was never hulk hogan’s as he claims on @howardstern
There are still more. If I included every lie that Hulk Hogan has ever told, this article would be about a million words long. In closing, I’d like you all to remember that while The Hulkster may have a ten inch python dangling between his legs; Terry Bollea does not.
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