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Monday Nerdo War – RAW – 1/29/96

Welcome to another installment of The Monday Nerdo War! This week, the war is down to one. That’s right, it’s just me, Joey, here to guide you on a trip back to the beginning of 1996. The show opened up with the usual replay of what’s gone on lately, quickly transitioning to what’s going to happen on this episode (narrated, of course, by Jerry Lawler and Vince McMahon). Two big matches were advertised: The British Bulldog vs. Diesel and HBK vs. Yokozuna.

Then there was a promise to revisit the horrific attack that Vader carried out on Gorilla Monsoon during the previous episode. They also claimed that due to his injuries, a new acting WWF President would be announced by the end of the show.

Onto the opening bout: Diesel vs. The British Bulldog

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This match was all right, at best. Bulldog handily dealt with Diesel for most of it. He managed to keep him on the mat, keeping the pressure up as much as possible. Before the first commercial break, Yokozuna made his way out, and stayed at ringside.

Eventually, Bulldog tried to cheat by exposing a turnbuckle, but Diesel turned it around, and used that to his advantage. Yoko, sensing that his friend in Camp Cornette could go down, tried to interfere, and ended up dropping a massive leg on The British Bulldog, instead. Diesel then scooped up the pin, and bounced, while Bulldog, Cornette, and Yokozuna were left in the middle of the ring to figure out where things went wrong.

All Bulldog knows is he never wants to be on the receiving end of another Yoko leg drop

All Bulldog knows is he never wants to be on the receiving end of another Yoko leg drop

From there, we’re taken to my teammate’s favorite part of the show: Dok Hendrix breaking down the card for an upcoming In Your House event.

Razor Ramon vs. The 1-2-3 Kid (with Ted DiBiase) in a Crybaby Match
Hunter Hearst Helmsley (with Elizabeth Hilden) vs. Duke Droese 
Yokozuna vs. The British Bulldog (with Jim Cornette)
Shawn Michaels vs. Owen Hart (with Jim Cornette) for a WWF Championship match at WrestleMania XII 
Bret Hart vs. Diesel in a Steel Cage Match

Once that finished up, Dok took us to the Billionaire Ted situation. Apparently, a Turner Broadcasting executive sent a letter to WWF saying that he found the Billionaire Ted segments to be hilarious. Then, that same executive sent another letter that threatened legal action against Vince McMahon and the World Wrestling Federation for disparaging his boss.

So, where do they go from there? They play another Billionaire Ted segment, that’s where. This one even mentions how The Hukster and The Nacho Man had a match scheduled for WrestleMania XII.

Ahh, what could have been.

Next up: Henry and Phineas Godwinn vs. The Bodydonnas. Thankfully, this match was quick and painless. I looked away for a minute, and it was over. Then the show transitioned to the promised revisiting of the actions of The Man Called Vader.

Yup…it’s Vader time! After they replayed the video, Vince took us to Jim Cornette and Clarence Mason. The two goons then informed us that if Vader’s punishment wasn’t lifted, they would be filing injunctions on his behalf, or some shit like that. They really leaned on the legal gimmick back then. Everytime they needed an out, Cornette or Mason threatened legal action, and things were cleared up.

Lame.

Anyway, after the two schmucks went away, Vince took to the ring to announce the new President of WWF:

(Courtesy of WWE.com)

(Courtesy of WWE.com)

With that out of the way, Mankind got some time to shine in a short vignette. It’s crazy. When it’s over, McMahon says something along the lines of, “I’m still not sure who that man is.”

Give it a couple years, Vince, you’ll never forget him.

Good God almighty, good God almighty, THEY'VE KILLED HIM!

Good God almighty, good God almighty, THEY’VE KILLED HIM!

We’ve finally reached the main event: Yokozuna vs. Shawn Michaels. The match started in HBK’s favor. He took Yoko to the outside, rather quickly. Moments later, Owen Hart came out from the back, and stayed at ringside to mess with his opponent at the upcoming In Your House event.

From there, Yoko and Owen took it to HBK, basically turning the whole affair into a handicapped match. Towards the end of the match, HBK managed to swing momentum in his favor. It looked like it was for naught when the big man caught The Showstopper coming off the top rope. Luckily, Owen Hart would get involved again. This time, he hit the man he used to hold Tag Team Championship gold with, inadvertently costing him the match.

HBK narrowily avoids a kick to the face from The King of Harts

HBK narrowily avoids a kick to the face from The King of Harts

HBK didn’t get much time to celebrate. Within minutes of the final bell being rung, The British Bulldog was in the ring. It looked like there might be some more dissension in Camp Cornette, but instead of turning on each other, they all turned on Shawn Michaels, who was still in the ring.

Before they could do any real damage, Diesel came flying out the back to help his friend. This caused Cornette, Owen, Bulldog, and Yoko to back off.

To end the show, Vince went to Cornette for a few words. He used them to challenge HBK and Diesel to a tag team match next week, on behalf of Bulldog and Yokozuna. Neither man showed any fear as they accepted.

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From there, Jerry Lawler quickly takes us out, and the show is over. That’s all, folks!


The Following Announcement Has Been Brought To You By Nerdopotamus

With WrestleMania 32 on the way, we have decided to put the Monday Nerdo War on a short hiatus. There’s so much going on in the world of wrestling, currently, that we really can’t spend much time in the past until the season is over. From the looks of it, this series will return two weeks after Shane McMahon goes head to head with The Undertaker in Hell in a Cell at AT&T Stadium in Dallas, Texas.

It’d be sooner, but we have a special release planned for the day after ‘Mania. You’ll find out more about it very soon.

Stayed tuned, guys, and thanks for reading!


Click HERE to catch up on The Monday Nerdo War while the guys are away.