Did you know that, at this point in time, in WCW being thrown over the top rope is a disqualification? How fucking lame is that?! Good thing you’re on the right side of both the Monday Night War and the Monday Nerdo War – TEAM WWF!
JOEY: Booooooooo Jerry!! BOO YOU!!!!!! Starting off with a WCW joke plays right into their hands!
The 1995 Survivor Series is just six days away at this point in time! Let’s see what Vince and Co. are offering for the go-home show.
Hunter Hearst Helmsley is already in the ring, spraying perfume around ringside. Henry O. Godwinn makes his way down to the ring, and Helmsley looks absolutely disgusted at the sight of the pig farmer. Before Godwinn can even get between the ropes, Helmsley has taken the attack to him. After a knee lift sends Godwinn to the outside, he takes his time to rethink his strategy.
As he is outside, Helmsley sprays some perfume in Godwinn’s general direction; this give Godwinn an idea. Henry turns the slop bucket on himself and sends a disgusted Hunter to the back. In Hunter’s hasty retreat to the back, he actually slips and falls on top of the excess slop.
JOEY: Gross. Depending on the night, they would fill that bucket with some vile things. Hope Hunter didn’t trip on any actual puke, jizz, piss, vomit, or shit. I’d be furious.
My favorite part of the show:
The Survivor Series Slam Jam! Which can only mean one thing: DOX HENDRICK! Tonight Hendrik is going to talk about the two big matches happening:
Diesel defends his WWF Championship, which he’s been holding on to for almost a year, in a match where the only way to win is by pin-fall or submission. This rubber match between Diesel and Bret Hart has been a long time coming, especially when you consider that their first two matches didn’t have a clear cut victor.
The other big match is the first ever Wild Card Survivor Series match! Both teams have a lot of drama, internally and on the other side of the ring. This match is definitely a powder keg ready to explode.
Let’s check in with “The Heart Break Kid” and see what he has to say for himself
Well, I mean, he’s technically not wrong.
Heading back to the ring, one of Shawn’s teammates at Survivor Series, Ahmed Johnson is action. Two weeks ago, Johnson rewrote WWF history becoming the first person to slam Yokozuna! Tonight, he’s doing battle with Jake Steele.
JOEY: Rewriting history that involves Lex Luger is totally fine with me. That guy can chug all of the D.
There’s not a whole lot to discuss here; Johnson’s power is on full display here. In fact, it doesn’t take long for Steele to take the plunge.
I can’t even front – I was hyped hearing Vince call it a TigerBomb.
JOEY: After the match, Ahmed Johnson cut one of the worst promos I’ve ever heard. I didn’t understand most of what he said. Not too hyped on having to endure more of those in the coming weeks.
We get the highly anticipated face-to-face between Diesel and Bret Hart.
Hart is not happy that it’s taken this long for him to get a rematch since losing the Championship to Bob Backlund a year ago. Diesel makes the sly remark that Hart “never asked” for his rematch. Diesel also made sure to drive the point home that he’s never backed down from any challenger.
Hart disagrees, even going so far as to say that Diesel has been avoiding Hart because a smaller, more technically sound guy will give Diesel way more trouble than he can handle. Diesel reminds Hart that “Big Daddy Cool” has defended the title against wrestlers the caliber of Shawn Michaels and Owen Hart.
JOEY: His match against HBK at WrestleMania XI even inspired Kevin Steen’s love of wrestling. Steen would obviously later join the WWE himself, under the name of Kevin Owens. So, you know…
Going back ringside for our next match, we get King Mabel easily trucking through yet another unknown. Mabel picks up the easy W via the belly-to-belly suplex.
JOEY: Hyped. That match totally wasn’t a waste of time. Not even a little.
Onto tonight’s main event: Razor Ramon vs. “Sycho” Sid. This was originally for the Intercontinental Championship, but President Monsoon didn’t trust 1-2-3 Kid (the special-guest referee) to be impartial, so he changed it to a straight up fight between two giants.
JOEY: Hold on ONE SECOND! How are you going to skip past Jerry Lawler and Vince McMahon battling it out in a commercial for Milton Bradley’s Karate Fighters? Come on, Jerry. That was the best part of the episode. Karate Fighters were the martial arts equivalent of Rock ’em, Sock ’em Robots. The King won it, but only because when Vince looked away, he taped his fighter’s foot down, so it couldn’t be knocked loose. It’s good to be The King!
Razor quickly turns that four (as in four time Intercontinental Champion) into a 4-Life (as in, just another thing WCW ripped off from WWF).
Also, keep in mind that the 1-2-3 Kid is the special guest referee. The Kid’s friendship with Razor has been an uneasy one as late as there’s been a lot of miscommunication between the two.
Razor’s early advantage doesn’t last too long before Sid is able to turn the tides via a big boot. Sid shows his absolute strength by chokeslamming Ramon with just one hand! Sid is all over Ramon and just dominating the first ever Four-Time WWF Intercontinental Champion. But the Bad Guy has some fight left in him and starts to make his comeback. Ramon is looking to really make the most of this momentum swing, and sets Sid up for the Razor’s Edge.
Sid overpowers and tosses Ramon over the top rope. While reeling on the outside, and with the referee distracted, Ramon is attacked on the outside by Ted DiBiase. Just before cutting to commercial we see former Intercontinental Champion Dean Douglas make his way from out back. Coming back from the commercial break, Sid and DiBiase have the referee distracted while Douglas puts the boots to Razor.
Again, the Bad Guy proves how resilient he is by just beating the ten count back in the ring. Ramon puts “Sycho” Sid up on his shoulders and crashes him hard against the mat.
Sid levels Ramon with a big back suplex that only gets him a two count. Sid follows it up with a HUGE leg drop.
Despite a picture perfect leg drop, Sid is still only able to draw a two count on Razor. Once again, Ramon starts to fight back, showing why he is the champion. Razor hits a big bulldog off the top rope, which is followed by:
Razor’s former tag partner turns his back on him and takes the pay day to join The Million Dollar Corporation! This really gives the Bad Guy a lot of negative momentum heading into the Survivor Series and the Wild Card match: a member of the opposing team just beat him, his partner jumped him and his friend betrayed him. It’s going to be interesting to see if Razor can bounce back at the Survivor Series.
JOEY: We’ll find out next week on RAW, because there’s no way I’m going to sit through all of Survivor Series 1995. I’ll watch Diesel vs. Bret Hart, and whatever match Undertaker is in, so I can see him debut in that dope phantom mask. Hogan of the Opera can choke on this glorious D.
In the back, Jim Ross is interviewing Razor’s three Survivor Series teammates.
There isn’t much of an interview as Razor storms in and tries to get a measure of revenge against Dean.
I want to end this week on a shout out to Jim Ross. Good job being photographed as the only person without a fucked up face.
That’s all from us this week! We’ll see you next week as we deal with the fallout from Survivor Series!