brock lesnar

Would You Wrestle Brock Lesnar for $37,000?

I’m watching NXT TakeOver: London with my brother, and two buddies. Somehow, the question was raised: would you wrestle Brock Lesnar for thirty-seven thousand dollars? It split the room. My brother and one friend said no, while my other buddy almost immediately joined me in saying yes.

All right, fine – I was the one who asked the question. I’ll be honest, I already forget why it came up, but I do remember why I chose that particular amount. It’s significant enough to make you really think about it. Sure, you have to get tossed around by The Beast Incarnate, but you also wouldn’t have to worry about bills for a few months while you recovered from whatever injuries you sustained during the match.

That brings me to my one buddy’s point (the one who said he wouldn’t). He changed his mind a few moments later, but with one condition: his medical bills would also have to be paid. That’s totally fair.

Keep in mind: you have no prior wrestling training, which is pretty vital in making sure you don’t die from all the vicious F-5’s and crushing German Suplexes.

Brock doesn't play The Game. He fuckin' suplexes it.

Brock Lesnar doesn’t play The Game. He suplexes the shit out of it

NOTE: Actual wrestlers are disqualified, as anyone with prior wrestling training should want to get a few minutes in with Brock Lesnar. In the wrestling ring, and not the octagon – just to be clear. I don’t know why anyone would want to have an actual fight with that man. 

So? How about it? Would $37,000 be enough for you to get in the ring with Lesnar for seven minutes? That’s new, by the way. I’m adding a time limit. Bonesaw had Spidey for three minutes, and Brock has your ass for seven.

Focus on the payday. You stand to make thousands of dollars. All you have to do is survive.

Ignore Paul Heyman. He’s just trying to get in your head. Close your eyes, and go for the ride. Let the Man Who Conquered the Streak take you on an express trip to Suplex City.

You probably won’t die.

UPDATE

Since being published on the Nerdopotamus Facebook page, this article has received over 6,000 comments.

Mr. X has a question for you: would you wrestle Brock Lesnar for $37,000?http://nerdopotamus.net/2015/12/16/would-you-wrestle-brock-lesnar-for-37000/

Posted by Nerdopotamus.com on Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Take a look through them. There’s a lot of keyboard warriors out there. Some sensible folks though, which is good to see.

The following are all actual comments. If you click on the post, you’ll see them laid out.

  1. Fuck yeah he aint invinsible fuck him
  2. Hes a pusscake in real life
  3. I’d rather be in the octagon with him
  4. Yes definitely im not afraid
  5. Ya bring his ass on,I will do it for 5,000. Then for free after I suplex his ass 50 times
  6. What a joke only wrestle hold he knows is German Suplex I’d do it for 50,000
  7. So funny these ppl that think they can just go in and beat someone who has great accolades and is physically at the top! Lol keep dreaming nerds! Brock would smash over 98% of us commenting on this but yes I would wrestle him for 37,000
  8. Ya I would I’ll keep giveing him f5 the the scorpion death drop to finish him
  9. Yea. Imma get my ass dqed n run like hell
  10. That’s like $1,000 for each suplex you gotta take. .fuck that.

Number seven is my favorite. Number ten is a close second, of course, but seven was a welcome respite from all the bullshit. These fake tough guys are men that don’t listen to reason. I only provided a small sampling. The number of comments has been growing consistently.

There is only one man equipped to handle what’s happening. One man whose voice carries the gravitas to truly shame all the fake tough guys out there. His name is Paul Heyman, and if you are reading this, and also have a Twitter, please tweet the link to Mr. Heyman.

His response to all of this would surely be magical.

FEATURED IMAGE CREDIT: Courtesy of WWE.com.

  • I’d do it. I’d step into the octagon with him for one round for $37,000. I’d be beaten within an inch of my life but I’d be debt free.

  • Vincent O’Neill

    Get my bills paid for after the match then give the rest for #charity or #donations or #adoption . You know what I mean. Just to be in the ring would be something. #lifegoal #honor #pride @wwe

  • Jamalc

    Am I able to run?

  • James Reed

    Where do I sign up? I would be sore as hell but it will be worth it in the end.

  • Robert Albrecht

    Where do I sign up? I’m not a ragdoll like that poor one legged kid he beat to a pulp.

  • Andrew

    Sign me up and I’ll survive. And… Make it 15 mins.