Monday Nerdo War – RAW – 9/18/95

Welcome everyone to week 3 of the “Monday Nerdo War,” where Team WWE reviews an episode of Monday Night Raw from the legendary Monday Night Wars, while Team W-C-W, the bad guys, cover the competition: Monday Nitro (booooooooooo).

All right, without further ado, let’s jump right into this.

The episode kicked off with a reminder of what went down on the previous RAW. Then they segued right into the intro for the Thursday edition.

JOEY: Forever hyped on this country rock sounding theme.

Before you ask, yes, Monday Night Raw used to air on Thursdays, from time to time.

The best part about this being taped in advance, is Overly Hyped Fan is back.

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1-2-3 Kid vs. Razor Ramon

Kid opens up early.

Top rope fall away slam.

Razor all over kid. Just too sweet.

JOEY: 10958802_680437045412883_2010644542_n

1-2-3 Kid puts Razor in a sleeper, and we go to commercial. Ramon might be dead.

JOEY: He’s definitely dead.

No wait. He’s not.

Ref bump. Dean Douglas runs out, and hits a top rope splash on Razor, allowing for Kid to get the win.

Better match than Hogan/Luger for WCW title.

JOEY: That’s because it was Hogan and Luger – two of the worst wrestlers in the history of the business. I don’t care how much Hulk did for the business. It’s because he has charisma pouring out of every orifice on his body. If he didn’t have that, he would’ve been lucky to make it out of the territory system.

Report card with Dean Douglas.

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Million Dollar Corporation (Tatanka and Kama) vs. Savio Vega and Bob “Spark Plug” Holly

How is this not the main event?

JOEY: Uh, spoiler alert: This was jabroni central for 1995 WWF. That’s how.

Damn. Godfather has had a shit load of gimmicks. Him and Rikishi gotta be up there.

JOEY: Gimmick after gimmick, and they settled on a pimp, and a fat guy who loves to stick his fat, gross ass into the face of his opponents. Nailed it, guys. Really nailed it.

Holly in there against Kama. Pretty sure this was both a Hardcore and Intercontinental championship match later, during The Attitude Era.

JOEY: I don’t know about that. However, I am positive that Crash Holly once lost the Hardcore title to one of the Godfather’s hoes. Absolutely hilarious.

Second hurricane Marilyn joke by King.

Stop what you’re doing, stand up, and salute this glorious head of hair that Holly is sporting.

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Holly being a hothead led to Vega getting double teamed.

DiBiase’s coat has exactly zero dollar signs.

#NotMyMillionDollarMan
#NotMyMillionDollarMan

Kama reverses Bob Holly cross body into a power slam for win.

Razor Promo hyping the match against Dean Douglas at In Your House

Jean Pierre LaFitte vs. Brian Walsh

Who wins when two jabrons fight Bret Hart?

JOEY: No one, Jerry. Absolutely no one wins.

On the phone, Bret sounds really into the feud (sarcasm alert).

Bret says Helen Hart made his ring jacket, which was stolen by LaFitte during a previous show.

JOEY: And you don’t mess with a jacket made by Helen Hart.

ONE-LINER BANGER ALERT

King: “I’ll tell you what you’re gonna have in your mouth this weekend: it’s not the taste of LiFitte – it’s the taste of DEfeat”

Nailed it.

Men on a Mission vs. Owen Hart/Yokozuna

Jim Cornette can chug me, but damn I loved Owen and Yoko as a team.

JOEY: They were one of the best. Earlier today, Team WCW and Team WWE were having a conversation about tag teams made up of guys thrown together, because creative doesn’t know what else to do with them. Yoko and Owen may be the prime example of that.

Ring has been re-enforced.

JOEY: Definitely the right move. Owen is like a little baby, amongst the three other massive guys in the ring. Seriously, Mabel, Yoko, and Moe were all absolutely humongous. In total, they definitely cracked 1,000 pounds. That’s three dudes!

Owen Harts’s theme was definitely reworked to be the Max’s song on Saved By The Bell.

JOEY: It’s close, for sure, but there’s definitely a difference.

Man, Owen Hart was so good, he’s making Moe look decent.

Looking back on it now, Yokozuna doesn’t even look Japanese.

JOEY: RIGHT?!? I thought he was Japanese until earlier this year. It blew my mind when I found out his name was Rodney.

Owen hit pretty much zero offense, as he’s being isolated.

Moments later, Yoko gets the hot tag, and slugs it out with Mable, right in middle of ring.

JOEY: The whole time, at a barely audible level, you could hear the ring screaming for someone to put it out of its misery.

Mable clothesline drops Yoko.

“KILL ME!” – the RAW ring – 9/18/95

Owen and Yoko’s drop toe hold into a leg drop manages to score them the victory.

Pre-taped comments by Two Dudes with Attitudes.

The episode concludes with an in-ring promo from Jim Cornette, where he hypes his Tag Team Champions, Yoko and Owen, who will be facing off with Shawn and Diesel at the upcoming In Your House PPV.

A backwards thinking, out of touch, shit for brains, and Vince McMahon
A backwards thinking, out of touch, shit for brains, and Vince McMahon

That is all for Team WWE’s week 3 of the “Monday Nerdo War.”


 

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Jerry Mascolo
JerryMascolo@Gmail.com