John Got Fired For a Crotch Chop

Here on Nerdopotamus, John Vernaglia records a podcast entitled, “Talking Wrestling With the King of the Smarks,” where he covers – well – wrestling. Mostly, classic WCW, but he’s working on retooling, and expanding on his show. In the meantime, we thought this very true story would get a few laughs out of some of the wrestling fans who visit our site.

Vernags is a busy man, though. As intimated earlier, he’s been working hard on his show. He wants it to be the best version possible.

So, in order to get around that, we conducted the following interview over FB Messenger.

NERDO: Give us a timeline. When did the crotch chop happen? And where were you working?

JOHN: The A&P in town. I was still in high school, so…I’d say somewhere in between 2006 and 2007.

NERDO: Did you have any problems at the A&P before the crotch chop?

JOHN: No, no problems at all.

NERDO: Okay, so set the scene. How did this all go down?

JOHN: My cd player happened to die, so I went to put it away. Of course, this old fuck was checking out with one of the cashiers, and he complained that something was scanned by mistake. I tried to help, but he was miserable. Said I already did this to him once before, and that it was no coincidence it happened again. Then he called me a schmuck. So, I said fuck you, and when I thought he turned around, I hit him with the crotch chop. Well, he saw it and the old fucker did it back!

NERDO: He did it back? That’s hilarious!

JOHN: After that, I told him to fuck off one last time, and ended up fired.

NERDO: And why exactly was he complaining?

JOHN: Cause the girl scanned something that he didn’t buy. Since it was the overnight shift, he couldn’t return it till the morning. He was pissed because I had done that to him once before.

NERDO: And your response to his complaints was to curse at him, and tell him to suck it? That’s amazing. You weren’t surprised when you got fired, right? You couldn’t have been. 

JOHN: I was.

NERDO: Really?

JOHN: I thought I’d get suspended. It was either that, or fired, but the crotch chop was the first really bad thing I ever did. I never showed up for work late, I did my job….looking back on it….I should have super kicked the old man.

NERDO: If only you could get your leg up that high! Sick burn!

JOHN: I wasn’t this fat back then.

NERDO: Fair point. Well, Vernags, thanks for taking some time with me to hopefully entertain a few of our readers. Can’t wait to listen to the new and improved KotS Podcast.

Let us never forget this one fact – an elderly man once hit a high school aged John Vernaglia with a crotch chop. I wonder if he had any idea that he was telling an underaged boy to chow down on his gross, old dong.

Food for thought.