I guess this is a thing we’re doing now. Why the hell not? Way more people watch this show than I ever expected. That includes me. No matter how much I try, I cannot stop watching this goddamn show.
The last episode ended with Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella spreading an awful message about changing for your spouse. Whatever. I didn’t do one of these articles for that show, so it might as well not exist.
Let’s focus on episode ten.
There were multiple story lines for this ep. For starters, there’s Nikki Bella potentially snapping, thanks to the ridiculous schedule that her and her sister work. Then there’s Eva Marie being Eva Marie, and trying to get further in her career. And in the final arc, Naomi dragged Tamina, The Uso Brothers, and a bunch of their family on a camping trip, by way of an RV with no AC.
We’re going to start with Ms. All Red Everything, so that we can get through it, and move onto the more entertaining stuff. In this, we learned that Eva’s manager is Dany Garcia, The Rock’s ex-wife, and that the WWE fast-tracked her training. She also went to the premiere of the disastrously bad “San Andreas,” starring Rocky and Carla Cugino, among others.
The biggest element of her storyline, though, had to be her scenes with her husband Jonathan. He wants time with his wife, uninterrupted by phones and work talk, but all Eva wants is to focus on her career. He’s trying to be supportive, but it has to be rough to watch your wife make all these moves, and know that your biggest role is to essentially be her cheerleader.
Other than that, Eva had some more interaction with Brian Kendrick, who explained that in their line of work, relationships are not easy. You have to make time for the ones you love. Find a balance between love and career. Yada, yada, yada.
Let me boil it down: Eva is training hard to improve her career, but it’s getting in the way of her marriage.
NOTE: Remember, this is a reality show, and as such, it’s pretty much all staged. I’m responding to what I’m shown, not what may or may not be real.
Moving on to Nikki and Brie Bella.
Their story was all about trying to get Nikki to go to therapy, in order to avoid her breaking point. She had been Diva’s Champion for a while, at the point of recording, and her hectic schedule was doing damage. She wasn’t getting sleep, which, in turn, was making her awfully bitchy. All around, Brie thought it was time to get her sister some help.
Nikki was not into the idea, at first, because when she was younger, and her parents were divorcing, she had a traumatic experience in therapy. She started to cry during a session, and her family laughed at her, which is one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard. It’s also super messed up. She definitely should have brought that up to Brie.
Anyway, Nikki eventually relented and went to therapy, thanks to a talk from John Cena (as seen in the featured image). Then, at the end of the episode, she admitted to Brie that she was wrong, and that going to therapy again was a good idea.
All you need to know.
Finally, let’s talk about Naomi, The Uso Brothers, Tamina
Snuka, and their whole family going on an RV vacation.
For this last part, I sought the help of the esteemed Jerry Mascolo, head writer on the RAW Retro Rewind Review.
He was at work, while I wrote this, so he hit me with the following messages over FaceBook:
“Not much happened there.”
“Naomi used their time off to plan a family trip to fill the void she had because she never really did such as a child.”
“It falls apart, in what certainly feels like it was planned, or proves Murphy’s law flawlessly.”
“Uso runs his mouth because it doesn’t live up to the time he spent at the campground as a child.”
“Spousal argument, make up…fun times prevail.”
That pretty much sums it all up.
Next week, Dolph Ziggler and Jimmy Uso do some comedy at The Laugh Factory in Los Angeles, while Daniel Bryan surrenders his Intercontinental Championship, and delivers some heartbreaking news to the WWE Universe. I’m sure other stuff will happen, too, but that’s all I care about.
UPDATE: Due to the poor performance of this article, there will be no more “Total Divas” reviews on Nerdopotamus. Fortunately, I (Joey) do not want to write anymore of them, anyway, so I’m not exactly disappointed.