It’s officially been a week since this show aired. I’ve given it some time to float around my dome, so I could really digest what happened. I mean, there was a lot to think about. This was a four hour show! I don’t know if you guys caught that, but it clocked in at four hours. Did any of you guys catch that, one of the eight million times that the WWE made sure to remind us? It was four. Hours! LONG!
Sorry, I thought it was ridiculous how often they reminded us it was four hours long. I’ve been ragging on it as much as possible. I’m done now, though. That was the last time, I promise.
Let’s get into the show.
Things kicked off with the host, Jon Stewart, coming down to the ring and getting the crowd hyped for the show. He introduced some of the matches, and then started talking about how he wanted to interview Brock Lesnar. See, Stewart is a huge fan of Undertaker, and he was bummed when Brock beat him at WrestleMania, and ended The Streak.
With that said, Jon Stewart is not a dumb man. He knew he couldn’t interview Brock alone, because he intended on asking some questions that might anger him, and Lesnar is – well – Lesnar. He murders people. Imagine if Jon Stewart caught a belly to belly. It would have been glorious.
Anyway, as back-up, Jon Stewart called out Mick Foley, who proceeded to come to the ring and tell Jon Stewart that he misheard him when he called on the phone. He assumed he wanted him to come and help interview The Rock, not Brock, and there was no way he’d be interviewing Brock.
As Mick put it, he’s wrestled in city after city, but he’s never once taken a trip to Suplex City.
Once they cleared out, Randy Orton and Sheamus took to the ring for a match that very few people cared about. This feud was doomed from the beginning. It started because both guys needed somebody to work with. That’s it. On the mic, it was explained as them simply not liking each other.
That was done in a much better way, later in the night, in the form of Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt and Luke Harper.
At least the finish of Orton versus Sheamus was bad ass. Sheamus hit two big Brogue Kicks in a row, nailing Randy both times. They definitely hurt, I’ll say that much.
Next up – The Prime Time Players (Titus O’Neil and Darren Young) defended their WWE Tag Team Championships in a Fatal 4-Way match, opposite The Lucha Dragons (Kallisto and Sin Cara), Los Matadores, and The New Day (Kofi Kingston and Big E, w/ Xavier Woods on the outside, being awesome).
This match was fantastic. The tag division is coming back in a big way. For months now, the matches have been stellar. The New Day and PTP have been a big part of that. I’m beyond psyched that The Dudley Boyz are back now. Things are going to get even better for the tag matches.
Kofi managed to pick up a win for his team, when he capitalized on work that Titus O’Neil did. It was a very fitting finish, and I’m psyched that New Day are the Champs again.
The next match was Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler.
It was boring as hell.
Lana looked like a white trash barbie.
It ended in a double count.
That is all.
Next, Stephen Amell and Adrian Neville took on Stardust and King Barrett.
This was a surprising showcase for Amell, who came with some solid, in-ring skills. From the moment he was tagged in, he started showing off. Instead of entering between the ropes, the star of “Arrow” catapulted off the top one, and landed halfway across the ring. He did so well, that the rumor is the door has been left open for him to return and have a singles match.
Good for him. He’s a lifelong fan, living out some childhood dreams. I mean, the guy hit a top rope spot at SummerSlam. How many of us wish we could say that?
For those of you wondering who won – celebrities don’t lose in WWE.
Sometimes the fans do, though. For instance, we all lost when we had to watch Ryback defend his Intercontinental Championship in a Triple Threat match, opposite Big Show and The Miz. It was awful. Ryback won, and retained. That’s all you need to know.
Do yourselves a favor, and do not watch this match.
Thankfully, as soon as the match finished, the camera cut to Jon Stewart in the back, as he walked to Brock Lesnar’s dressing room, in an effort to confront him and conduct that interview he talked about before. Instead, he got Paul Heyman, and the two of them cut a better promo than most of the men in the back are capable of.
In it, Jon Stewart stressed the fan reaction to Undertaker’s streak being broken at WrestleMania, which will come back to play a pretty big role in John Cena vs. Seth Rollins for both the US and WWE World Heavyweight Championships.
After that segment ended, we got Bray Wyatt and Luke Harper vs. Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose.
When I first watched this, I wasn’t a huge fan. Then it started to grow on me. There’s a good flow to it, and all four of the guys hit each other very hard. What more could I ask for?
It’s time to talk about the best match of the night – Seth Rollins vs. John Cena – title versus title – winner takes all.
If Cena won this, he would have become a 16x World Heavyweight Champion, tying Ric Flair’s legendary record. That’s why Jon Stewart got involved, and hit The Doctor of Thuganomics with a steel chair, costing him the match. As a wrestling fan, Stewart didn’t want Ric Flair’s record to be broken.
A lot of people hated that Stewart, a former talk show host, got involved, same as they hated The Young Bucks selling for a kid. Those people don’t know joy. They’re lifeless, soul-less, shitty little people that need to realize wrestling is allowed to be fun.
In regards to the in-ring work that preceded that finish – it was all stellar. Rollins and Cena were on their game. They went back and forth, with each guy bringing the best out of the other.
— ZombieProphet (@ZProphet_MMA) August 24, 2015
All in all, it was a glorious affair. The next match? Not so much. It was the three team, nine diva elimination match. These matches are insanely boring, because there are no stakes to them. I understand that they’re finally going to fix that soon, which is great. All of these women are being wasted in this directionless “storyline.”
Yeah, that was seriously the finish to the match. It doesn’t get much more anti-climactic than that. Only two matches remain. Before the main event went on, Kevin Owens and Cesaro came out and killed it.
This should have opened up the show. It definitely deserved the spot over Sheamus and Orton. It would have set the tone for the rest of the night, sending everyone else out to the ring, trying to top what came before them. After all, the first match can’t be the best. That would’ve made everyone else look terrible.
— ZombieProphet (@ZProphet_MMA) August 24, 2015
Finally, we’ve reached the main event of the evening – Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker. I discussed this on my podcast the other day, and I’ve read countless other reactions. I’ve been all over this match. I didn’t know what to expect, and I got a brutal, back and forth brawl.
I wish their WrestleMania 30 match was this good. Let’s talk about the finish, though. Many people were upset by it.
To explain, Brock had Taker in the Kimura Lock, and actually made The Dead Man tap.
The ref didn’t see that, though, because he was checking to see if Lesnar’s shoulders were on the mat. The timekeeper did, however, and he rang the bell to end the match. It was weird. The timekeeper has never rung the bell on his own like that before, so why now?
I get that they were trying to have both men end the match on an even note, but still. They probably could have figured out something a little different. While the ref made sure that everyone knew the match wasn’t over, Undertaker nailed The Beast Incarnate with a low blow, and then locked him in The Hell’s Gate, until he passed out, officially scoring the win, in favor of The Phenom.