Ten Of The Funniest Characters On TV
A group of us here at Nerdopotamus got together and shot the shit over a few drinks. We all love TV so it’s only natural that we collapsed into a violent and irrational argument about our favorite comedic characters.
After a lot of oddly impassioned debating we were able to narrow it down to ten characters, in no particular order (thats another argument in itself).
If you disagree with this list, feel free to use our comment section to post an all caps tirade about our mothers.
Silicon Valley – Erlich Bachman (T.J. Miller)
“Let me ask you something: how fast do you think you could jack off every guy in this room? Because I know how long it would take me, and I can prove it!”
“Your muffins smell like shit, so do your ideas. One of you is the least attractive person I’ve ever seen, and I’m not going to say who.”
“Richard, stop being a fucking pussy and start being an asshole.”
“We’re walking in there with three foot cocks covered in Elvis dust.”
While the entire cast of the show is great, Erlich Bachman steals every scene he is in. If you don’t watch Silicon Valley, you should. Everyone has a friend with HBO.
Archer – Doctor Krieger (Lucky Yates)
Doctor Krieger has been given more screen time in recent seasons and boy does he shine. Only slightly trained in medicine, Krieger can always be counted on to offer an insane solution to any problem (be it real or imagined).
“Danny! Stop running! We gotta keep that heart rate down, buddy!”
Krieger: Do you ever want to walk again?
Gillette: No, because this way I never have to buy new shoes.
Krieger: Yeah, but is that worth it?
“That wasn’t a brain chip. That was a just a sticker of the backpack of a little Lego spaceman.”
South Park – Randy Marsh (Trey Parker)
Randy Marsh is another character who benefited from an increase in screen time. If Randy isn’t topping the charts as Lorde or trying to take down the Bat Dad, he is probably taking a world record shit. This definitely not an alcoholic is the funniest Dad on TV today.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry…I thought this was America!”
“Oh yeah, shallots won’t overwhelm the chicken’s natural flavor. Fuck yeah.”
“Just gonna get a little bit of cancer, Stan, tell mom it’s okay”
Ricky and Morty – Rick Sanchez (Justin Roiland)
Rick Sanchez is not a particularly good grandfather but he makes for excellent TV. He is a hard drinking, morality skewing scientist who drags his grandson Morty on a never-ending series of misguided adventures. If you’ve never watched the show, this is the episode that will hook you.
“What about the reality where Hitler cured cancer, Morty? The answer is: Don’t think about it.”
“It’s like the N word and the C word had a baby, and it was raised by all the bad words for Jews.”
“I’m sorry, Morty. It’s a bummer. In reality you’re as dumb as they come.”
Supernatural – Dean Winchester (Jensen Ackles)
Sure, there are a lot of dramatic moments in Supernatural but Dean Winchester always has a quip handy. Dean has great comedic timing which helps elevate a sometimes too heavy show.
“My name is Dean Winchester. I ‘m an Aquarius. I enjoy sunsets, long walks on the beach and frisky women. And I did not kill anyone.”
“Snow White? I saw that movie. The porn version anyway. There was this wicked Stepmother. Woo, she was wicked.”
Workaholics – All Three Of Them (we couldn’t decide on one)
The season 3 episode Real Time is one of the best 20 minutes ever produced for television. Blake, Anders, and Adam work wonderfully together from beginning to end. That episode is the main reason we had such a hard time picking just one of them.
“This is the USA. ‘Characters Welcome’ is our country’s motto.”
Blake: Whoaaa whats a 401K?
Ders: Basically its a retirement plan so you can…
Blake: Oh, nevermind. I totally thought it was a laser
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt – Kimmy Schmidt (Ellie Kemper)
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt is a wonderfully written show with a lot of layered humor that benefits from multiple viewings. Everyone has a little Kimmy in them.
“It’s a photo of a man’s penis. I read that people text them to each other.”
“Jackie Voorhees: And her ex-husband died on top of his new wife.
Kimmy Schmidt: Like in bunk beds?!”
Girl at the bar: Are you into Molly?
Kimmy Schmidt: Am I?! She’s my favorite American Girl!
It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia – Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day)
Charlie Kelly: Local Business Owner and Cat Enthusiast. Charlie is our favorite character on Sunny and the reason why “Wildcard, bitches!” is part of the American lexicon. He’s a rat killing, paint huffing maniac who may just be the smartest man alive.
“I am familiar with carpentry and I don’t know who my father is. So, am I the messiah? I don’t know, I could be, I’m not ruling it out. “
“Oh, I’m sorry. Well I could put the trash into a landfill where it’s going to stay for millions of years, or I could burn it up, get a nice smokey smell in here and let that smoke go into the sky where it turns into stars.”
“Here’s a confession: I’m in love with a man. What? I’m in love with a man … a man named God. Does that make me gay? Am I gay for God? You betcha.”
South Park – Eric Cartman (Trey Parker)
Trey Parker’s voice work has produced some of the most recognizable characters of all time, top being Eric Cartman. Cartman may just about be the worst person ever, but everything he says is funny.
“I’m not just sure. I’m HIV positive.”
“Well I’ve been licking this carpet for 3 whole hours and I don’t feel like a lesbian.”
“Look – these perverts aren’t going to rest until they’ve made love to one of us, right? So one of us is just going to have to go out there and take one for the team. And I think in all fairness, it should be Butters.”
New Girl – Nick Miller (Jake Johnson)
It was really hard to leave the rest of the New Girl crew out but Nick Miller steals the show. Nick is the classic underachiever, limited only by his ability to be incredibly dumb at times. He has his moments of heartfelt advice and genuine emotion, but we like it best when he’s moonwalking away from his problems.
“I stole that from Nelson Mandela. I added the part about the Penguin and the Riddler.”
“I once tried on my girl cousin’s wool tights and I didn’t hate how it felt.”
Jess: Nick calls birds ‘wind-mice.’ Nick says ‘yahtzee’ when he climaxes. He calls turtles ‘shell-beavers.’
Nick: Well, that’s what they should be called.
FEATURED IMAGE CREDIT: dailybackgrounds.com.