In part one of this mini-series, I talked about how I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease as a child. As a result, I spent most of my 8th, 9th, and 10th grade years home alone. It was mostly miserable, but I did manage to see a bunch of great films during that time.
“London” was one of the ones that always stood out to me. I never forgot it. How could I ever forget seeing Jason Statham and Chris Evans rip fat lines of white lightning for an hour and a half? [Thank you for that line, Jerry Mascolo]
There’s more to it than that, but Captain America and The Transporter really do spend the majority of the movie in a bathroom, snorting line after line of blow. Evans plays Syd, a young man who has been devastated by his breakup with the titular London, as played by the unbelievably hot Jessica Biel (circa 2005, when this flick came out).
Syd meets Bateman (Statham) in a bar to make a drug related transaction, and manages to convince him to come to London’s going away party with him, even though they weren’t invited. Almost as soon as they get there, they head upstairs to the bathroom and start in on the powder.
In the meantime, they tell various stories, which provide countless character clues. One highlight is Statham’s monologue about how he went to see an S&M mistress, and paid to have her piss on him. Seriously! Jason Statham has a monologue in this movie about being pissed on. That right there should be enough for you guys to want to see it.
Okay, I have to get serious for a bit. This movie is a lot better than a bunch of jokes about Evans and Statham ripping lines. It tells a great story about London and Syd’s relationship, all framed as tales that a coked up Syd tells Bateman, and other partygoers.
It’s extremely dialogue heavy, but all of the actors handle themselves beautifully.