A Collection Of Hilarious Simpsons Quotes

I absolutely love, “The Simpsons.”

It’s one of my favorite shows in the entire world. It will always make me feel better, regardless of how bummed I am. I can’t help but laugh at that obnoxious blue collar family.

That’s why I’m doing this article. It’s totally for me. If you guys click in and enjoy it – that’s cool – but I’m not really worried. This is for when I’m looking to laugh, and all I have is my cellphone.

Let’s get started. I don’t want to waste anymore time with my own words.

“Doughnuts? I told you I don’t like ethnic food!” – Monty Burns

“Cows don’t look like cows on film. You gotta use horses.” – Teamster

“There’s something about flying a kite at night that’s so unwholesome.” – Marge Simpson

“Hello Simpson, I’m riding the bus today because mother hid my car keys to punish me for talking to a woman on the phone. She was right to do it.” – Seymour Skinner

“Y’ello? You’ll have to speak up. I’m wearing a towel.” – Homer Simpson

“Oh, wow, windows. I don’t think I could afford this place.” – Otto

“If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about.” – Troy McClure

“I can’t even say the word “titmouse” without giggling like a school girl.” – Homer Simpson

“You’re turning me into a criminal when all I want to be is a petty thug.” – Bart Simpson

“You know what really aggravates me? It’s them immigrants. They wants all the benefits of living in Springfield, but they ain’t even bother to learn themselves the language.” – Moe Szyslak

“Last night’s “Itchy and Scratchy” was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured that I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.” – Comic Book Guy

“The reason we have elected officials is so we don’t have to think all the time.” – Homer Simpson

“For once maybe someone will call me, “sir,” without adding, “you’re making a scene.” – Homer Simpson

“But my mom says I’m cool.” – Milhouse Van Houten

“Oh boy, sleep! That’s where I’m a viking!” – Ralph Wiggum

“I’m a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are.” – Homer Simpson

“Me fail english? That’s unpossible!” – Ralph Wiggum

Okay, I’m done – for now. I will definitely be adding to this in the future.

In the meantime, if you’re reading this, you should hit the comment section and let me know some of your favorite quotes from, “The Simpsons.”


Joseph Finnegan